Crackspeare
by The Manga Witch
Summary: What if Shakespeare was on crack? What if he read Gakuen Alice? Now you can find out. "Seriously... she gives us sandwiches in freakin' goddamn aluminum foil, but I can't wear stupid jeans!" 'NUFF SAID! Crackfic, AU, rated T for safety.


**Yo to the people, and welky to my brand new fanfic, Cracspeare!! It's a play with the GA characters and I'm the director. Here's how it works. There will be an unknown number of chapters and each chapter will have a Shakespeare story. First off is the popular "A Midsummer Night's Dream" with main characters Natsume and Mikan, of course I modified some parts because rabbit (Natsume) can't play a handsome Athen citizent (is that how you spell it?) Now off we go.**

**Natsume: I AM NOT WEARING THIS COSTUME!!**

**Me: IT'S A TOGA AND IT'S FASHIONABLE IN ANCIENT GREECE!!!**

**Natsume: IT'S A SHEET WITH A BELT!!!**

**Me: *sigh* Drama queens, whatcha gonna do?**

**Natsume: I AM NOT A DRAMA QUEEN!! NOW GET ME A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH!!**

**Aoi: Niichan, you don't like grilled cheese...**

**Natsume: I know, but it's a popular demand.**

**Hotaru: In that case I want crab brains!**

**Mikan: Ooh, Ooh, Howalons for me!**

**Ruka: Can Usagi act with me?**

**Me: NOOOO, SHUT UP AND LISTEN CLOSELY, BEAR IS STANDING OUTSIDE WITH AN AXE THAT I CAN USE ANYTIME, NOW GET TO PLACES BEFORE I BEHEAD YOU!!!**

**Everyone: O.O**

**Me: Being a director sure is stressing, now GET ME SOME WAFFLES!**

**Aoi: Enjoy the show^^.**

* * *

**Act 1: Nightmare in the Middle of the Summer**

Once upon a time there were two lovers torn apart by destiny, their names were Bella and Edward, but we're not here to talk about sappy vampire books. We're here for _another_ sappy story about two lovers torn apart by destiny (oh god, don't authors have anything else to do with their freakin' lives?). This is a story of two very distinct people named Mikan and Natsume, who lived in ancient Greece, but we'll get there. First... FREE VIOLENCE!!

The battlefield was ready to charge, the opponents staring into each other's eyes with a wish to slaughter.

"Chaaaarge!!!" The powerful monarch cried as thousands of soldiers ran with all heir strenght to the center of the battle. Who was the almighty his hotness? Non other than Andou Theseus Tsubasa. Duke of Anthens (yes, I'm a Tsubasa fangirl *fangirl squeal*). On the other side was the powerful queen of the amazons, Misaki Hippolyta Harada. A skillful swordswoman who already fought and defeated many men (Girl Power!!!). They galloped to center stage with their powerful stallions and began an epic swordsfight. Untill that is, an (un)fortunate comment from the Duke.

"Hey, you're kinda hot. Wanna go out?"

"Eh? W- what?" She blushed.

"You. Go out. Me."

"Sure, whatever..."

And so an epic battle ends up in a crappy attempt to ask a girl out (whoa, it actually worked! O.O).

After several weeks (yes, weeks) of dating the Duke and the Queen decided they were gonna get married, because... you know... that's how they rolled in the past. And there they were, minding their own business picking out a dress that didn't make her highness Misaki look fat or sluttish and choosing the perfect flower to match the blood that was on their favorite swords when they were oh so rudely interrupted by a blasfeming retard yelling something completely ridiculous.

"Get your lamps here! Fresh genie lamps! Only 45.99 plus tax!! If you buy now we'll even throw in a free poison apple!" And that is the real story of what happened to the evil stepmother in Snow White. She was executed by His Dukyness Tsubasa for being way too loud and disturbing... But when they finally thought they could spend some quality time together nooo... another idiot _has_ to barge in whenever he wants.

"Duke, you will never _ever_ guess what my dear daugter is saying!! She says she wants to elope! Can you believe the nerve?"

"Viscount Narumi, settle down and tell me the story piece by piece." The Duke tried to soothe the situation.

"My daughter, Mikan, she said she wanted to _elope_! With a person of a lower statute! A Knight! But she can't! She has to marry Tono-sama because I say so! I _am _her father after all... even though she's adopted." The blond man said in a rather girly way.

"I have my doubts about the _father_ part... maybe a mother, or a sister, but a father?" Tsubasa muttered beneath his teeth.

"Oh. Are those the decorations for your wedding? Oh em gee are those _roses_?! Kyaa!!! I adore roses!"

"Okay... now I absolutely _sure_ about the _father_ part. Oi, Misaki-chan. Are gays even allowed in this city?"

"Uh... yeah. I think so. And he was your teacher after all..." The Duke shivered at the thought that his middle school years had been so easily ruined by one gay dude. I mean, he had the best education money could buy, but the best teacher was also the gayest. And he hardly ever teached in classes saying he had affairs or something. Ha. Tsubasa had his suspicions about the Viscount secretly being a drag queen.

"But what exactly do I have to do with your daugter eloping, baron?"

"You're a Duke for Zeus's sake! You have to do _something_!"

"Will you leave us alone if we do?"

"Absolutely." He gave one of those very creepy gay smiles.

"Okay, okay fine... Mikan will marry Tono by the power vested in me to pwn her if she doesn't do so blahblahblah, yaddayaddayadda. Done."

"Oh thank you Duke. I can't wait to tell Mikan-chan!" And with one last girly squeal he dashed off the door.

"Your teacher scares the living shit out of me, Tsubasa."

"You get used to it..."

"Did you?"

"..."

"I thought so."

_Meanwhile in the noble house of Viscount Narumi:_

"Aww come on. I mean... Tono-sama's not _that_ bad, Mikan-chan."

"Aoi. He's a freakin' perv. And he's ooold. And besides, I love Natsume... I think. Oww!!"

"That's what you get for badmouthing people behind their backs."

"What the hell, Natsume! You had to throw one of your stupid scrolls on my head?"

"Hn."

"And I wansn't badmouthing you. My exact words were: "I love Natsume.""

"And then you added the "I think" which besides being completely impossible since you'd probably hurt yourself if you thought proves that you doubt our relationship."

"Seriously, if you weren't my boyfriend I swear you'd be in the dungeons by now."

"Will you stop your stupid bickering! I can't believe I have to put up with you every day."

"Aoi-chan, mou. That's mean!"

"And more. Natsume, you're my brother and I love you, but you can be a royal pain even though you're a knight."

"Miiiikan!" A very gay voice interrupted the conversation of the three youths. "Guess what? Duke said you _have_ to marry Tono or else he'll pwn yoooou."

"Gay dude at 5 o'clock." The raven haired boy muttered under his breath. The brunette hit him.

"Don't be rude. He's just happy because I have to marry... WHAAAAT??? Dad, that's not fair! Stupid Tsubasa. I thought he was my friend!"

"I never trusted Andou bastard."

"But Mikan this'll be a great opportunity for our family's statute."

"Statute shmatute. Ever since you got dumped by that Yuka woman you've been acting all gay and all you talk about is statute."

"That's not true. But anyways, now you have to marry him."

"Natsume! Do something you idiot!" The raven haired sighed.

"Look... gay, perv, Naru. I _know_ you want the village idiot over there to marry the perv, but she loves me. What can I say."

"You're not helpiing." Mikan chanted nervously.

"Well i guess that's settled now. I'll go see a tailor to take your measurements." The Viscount chanted. "My little baby all grown up and getting married." He squealed/cried.

"Fuckin' bastard." Natsume muttered under his breath.

"Oh oh. He's getting all fired up again. I better get him some camomile tea. Be right back." The raven haired girl said nervously.

"Mou. Natsume why don't you want to elope with me?"

"It's cumbersome."

"That's not a fair reason."

"Don't care."

"Pleeease." She did the puppy dog eyes. Almost... but he turned his head away.

"Not fair! I almost got you."

"The world isn't fair."

"So you're okay with me marrying Tono-sama?"

"I never said that."

"Then elope."

"No."

"My grandpa's really nice."

"Who cares."

"It's really peaceful there."

"You'd probably ruin it."

"They have a megastore with scrolls?"

"Will you shut up if I go."

"Haha!! The scrolls convinced you didn't they? Huh? Huh?"

"Shut up, idiot."

"Retard."

"Moron."

"Fox."

"Ugly."

"Baka."

"Aho."

"Dumbass."

"Polka dots."

"Jerk. Wait? Polka...? PERVERT!!!! LEECHER!!!! MOLESTOR!!!!!"

"Stupid girl. I'm your boyfriend."

"Tono doesn't seem so bad as of now..."

"You have no idea what you're saying."

"I absolutely know what I'm saying, jerk. So... forest, tonight?"

"Whatever, ugly." Before Mikan could properly respond (swear back) they were interrupted by Aoi.

"Mikan-chan, Natsume-niichan... Are you really leaving?"

"Please Aoi, don't tell anyone about it." Mikan pleaded with her famous puppy dog eyes.

"Okay, I won't tell anyone." Aoi said convincingly, but what the couple didn't know was that Aoi, although she was eighteen, was too lucky-go-happy to keep a secret. But you can't say she didn't try her best.

"I won't tell anyone. I won't tell anyone. I won't tell anyone." She muttered as she walked along the corridors.

"What won't you tell anyone?"

"That Natsume and Mikan are eloping... Oh shit!"

"They're WHAT?!" Okay, okay... her best is crap, but give her points for trying. And worst of all the person who asked that was none other than Tono himself.

"Uh... they're evoping, canoping, menoping... GAH!!!! Damn this stupid language where you can't find a word that rhymes with eloping!!!"

"So they really _are_ eloping."

"I never said that!"

"Are they?"

"Yes, I mean no. Curse you damn honesty!"

"Aha. So they are eloping. I'll put a stop to this!"

"No! You can't!"

"Why not?"

"Uhhh... umm... because... I'm in love with you?"

"You are?"

"Sure, why not?" 'If he believes it...' Aoi thought to herself. Tono sucked the air between his cheeks.

"Stilll... I have to go get Mikan."

"Aww! Come on! That's insulting to me you know!"

"Get away."

"No! You can't! Don't leave me!" 'Man, I'm good at this. Maybe I should be an actress.'

"Suuure I can't."

"Really?"

"Yeah! I definitely won't go." 'Idiot.' So Tono left with a smirk on his face and Aoi stared blankly at the background untill...

"DAMN IT, I'M SO GUILLIBLE!!!!!" Yes, she had finally realised she had been fooled. "I'll get you for this Tono. Oh I will." Aaand... there's Aoi's evil side showing.

_Meanwhile in a small cottage in the edge of the forest:_

"Okay everyone, settle down. Please... settle down." A sandy haired boy with glasses was trying to calm the crowd.

"Oi! Settle down now or I'll send you each slowly to Hades!" The crowd immediately stopped.

"Thank you Shoda."

"Don't mention it, Yuu."

"Go Permy! Woo!"

"Shut up or I'll shut you up, Koko."

"Yes milady."

"Okay, Yuu, you're free to talk now." The seaweed haired girl returned to her seat.

"Very well. As you all know, we, proud citizens of the beautiful city named Athens, filled with it's culture and wonder, dedicated to the goddess of knowledge herself and-"

"Yuu, I warmed them up for you, but please get on with this."

"Alright, as I was saying, we were chosen to represent the artisans of Athens in the wedding of the Duke and the Duchess. We'll be doing a play called Pyramus and Thisbe. I shall now hand out your parts. Stand up when I call you. Sumire Nick Shoda."

"Here! Here! I can't wait to hear my part! I bet it'll be fabulous like me." Koko snickered behind her which earned him a well delivered punch.

"You'll be paying the role of Pyramus."

"Geesh, that girl has a wierd name."

"That's because it's a guy."

"Carpenter boy, say what?"

"It's a guy."

"Oh nononono. Noooo effin' way in hell am I playing a guy!"

"But you have to."

"Give me one good reason."

"Uh... because... because Pyramus is the lead role, the star, the head musketeer, whatever you like to call him."

"Oh okay, fine, but only because he's the star." Shiny stars appeared in her eyes.

"Moving on... Kokoro Francis Yome." A sandy haired boy with an eternal smile plastered on his face although he had just recieved a punch from kickboxing Sumire lifted from his seat.

"You will be playing Thisbe."

"Oh no. Don't tell me." The smile wavered...

"Thisbe is a girl, Koko."

"SHIT!" The smile instantly vanished from his face like magic.

_Meanwhile (okay, why don't YOU try finding sinonyms for "meanwhile") in a deep part of the forest:_

The blond looked relunctantly at the big, scary gates leading to the queen's palace and swallowed air. Ruka Puck Nogi, 18, unenployed. Saw an add in the newspaper.

_Tired of your boring routines? Come work for queen Hotaru. Needing people to do odd jobs, moderate payment. Interviews start this Summer in the darkest part of the forest._

Odd jobs didn't seem so bad and he wasn't really that ambitious so he decided to take it. He could always quit if he didn't like it... He slowly opened the door only to reveal a raven haired woman talking away on the phone.

"Look, Hayate, I told you I _need_ that Youichi kid. Do you know how hard it is to find a decent ghost manipulator these days?"

"_Why the heck do you need a ghost manipulator. He'd do me some good in my troops, Blue._"

"Look at us, we're fighting for a kid like we're getting a divorce. And I told you to stop calling me that idiotic name. I don't care if I look like one of your legendary heroes."

"_Haha. Divorce, that's a good one. We're not even married._"

"Yeah, yeah that's hilarious, now give me the kid or I'll make you into shreds."

"_Hmm... lemme think... NO. Bye Hotaru!_" There was a click sound as Hayate hung up. The raven hair finally noticed the blond. She was in a bad mood.

"Who're you and what're you doing in my castle? Did you pay the entrance fee?"

"N- no ma'am. I'm Nogi. Ruka Nogi and I'm here because of the add-"

"Oh right, I was needing staff, but I didn't really think anyone would show up. That's good." She smiled a very evil looking smile. The blond shivered inside. "Very well... what are your qualifications?"

"Umm... I guess I can read and write... and I'm good at following directions, and I'm not that ambitious, I love animals and-"

"Enough. That's all I needed to hear. You're hired."

"R- really? That's great!"

"Okay, now wear this."

"Oh no. Are those tights?"

"I didn't write the play, some guy named Shakespeare did. Now put em on before I pwn you. Dressing rooms are to the left."

_15 minutes later:_

"You're slow, Nogi."

"What? These are freakin' hard to put on!"

"Whatever, bunny boy. You're making me lose my patience." She took a snapshot of him.

"What the? What was that for?!"

"These pictures are gonna sell, Nogi. Simple logistics."

"W- what?"

"Shut up and listen, bunny boy. Your first targ- uh... job is Hayate."

"The person you were talking to on the phone?"

"You know I could fire you just by evasedropping like that, don't you?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good. Here's what I want you to do. Take this magic love potion and drop it in his eyes while he's asleep."

"So he'll fall in love with you, right?"

"Although that is a clever deduction. No. I want him to fall in love with somebody else so I can punish him for cheating on me."

"But you aren't dating..."

"Once again. Evasedropping can make you lose your job." She handed him a big bucket.

"Whoa! What is this?"

"The potion."

"Uhh... I was expecting a flask or something..."

"You'll very likely mess up, so I got you a whole bucket."

"Oh wow. Talk about confidence."

"Did you just use sarcasm with me, Nogi?"

"No ma'am. I'll be on my way."

"Good." The blond boy left and while he was walking through the edge of the forest he heard voices. Apparently some amateurs were practicing a play so Ruka, without anything else to do. Decided to watch.

'Boy they suck.' He thought, then he realised that someone for the group who should supposedely be _waiting for her cue_ was gaping at him. I mean, who wouldn't? He had fairy wings for Pete's sake.

"O- oi. What're you looking at?" Then he recognized her. 'Holy mother of Zeus it's the freaky fan/stalker from elementary school!'

"Ruka-samaaa!" She instinctively jumped to hug him and he did the only reasonable thing that appeared in his mind at the moment. He turned her head into a donkey's (you don't even want to know what were the unreasonable things he thought of at the moment) and fled.

"Oh crap, I wasted magic on something like that. Imai-sama's gonna tear me into shreds." He thought out loud as he made his way to Hayate's home. He got there and knocked on the door.

"Whoizzit?" A very annoyed voice said.

"Uh... I'd like to speak to Hayate-sama. I was sent from the queen."

"Really? The queen? That's awkward, but hey. Aren't you the new guy?"

"News travel fast." The person on the other side opened the door. "Oh My Lord it's YOU!"

"Ruka?"

"Jinno-sensei, what the hell are you doing here?!"

"The person currently writing this story needed someone to play the Mustardseed Fairy..."

"Oh... I think I'll regret asking, but... who are the other fairies?"

"Bear, Misaki, Subaru and Persona."

"I have a feeling drugs were used in the making of this story..."

"The title is _Cracks_peare for a reason."

"I see. So here's the deal. I'm gonna have to knock you out now so I can get to Hayate and . drop this in his eyes." He showed him the bucket.

"Oh please. Be my guest."

"What happened to the angry Jinno-sensei I used to know in elementary?"

"Tai chi."

"Oh. It seems to have done you some good. So... I really have to put you KO now..."

"Oh fine. Can I put my pillow on the floor so I'll land on it?"

"Of course." And so the happy conversation ended up with Jinno uncouncious on the floor and Ruka putting some potion on Hayate's eyes. When Hayate woke up guess who was the first person he saw? A donkey-headed girl straying along the woods.

"Oh my, I never knew donkey heads could be so smexy. Oi, First Fairy." A brown bear with a very awkward gleam in his eyes appeared. He bowed. "Go get the girl for me, will ya?" The bear nodded. Hoo boy. This ain't gonna be good...

_Later that day, in the forest:_

"You WHAT?!"

"Shut up polka dots, you're making my ears bleed."

"Natsume Lysander Hyuuga, I can't _believe_ you lost our map! And stop calling me that!"

"Calm down, idiot. I know this freakin' forest like the palm of my hand."

"I never liked that expression... I mean, how can you possibly memorize every single line that's on your hand. You'd have to be a half witted lifeless nerd like the person that's writing this story to have time to memorize the palm of your hand. KYAAA!!" A big tree almost fell over her head if Natsume hadn't caught her.

"Hey, hobo!" He shouted to the sky. "We need her _alive_ 'till the end of the story."

"B- but. She was pushing her luck!" A voice echoed around the couple (That's me!).

"I don't care if she was throwing her luck off a cliff, let's just get this over with so I can get off this stupid sheet."

"It's a toga and it was very fashionable in ancient Greece."

"What, like phones?"

"The HotaruXHayate conversation was just a burst of inspiration."

"And I bet metal buckets were too."

"Of course, now either continue the story or pay me 50,000,000."

"Yen? No prob, hobo. I have some saved."

"Dollars, rabbit. Dollars." The raven hair swallowed nervously and I grinned widely. "Toodles, rabbit. Mikan-chan."

"Okaaay, now what, Natsume?"

"No idea. Maybe we should eat something..."

"Oh that's good. I brought sandwiches." She pulled out a _plastic bag_ and got some sandwiches wrapped in _aluminum foil_. The raven guy stared intently at them.

"Seriously... she gives us sandwiches in freakin' goddamn _aluminum foil_, but I can't wear stupid _jeans_?!"

"Oh, quit whining and just be grateful she got us food. Oh man is this peanut butter?! Thank you Oh Mighty Writer!!" She shouted up to the sky.

"Don't mention it." A loud voice thundered once again.

"I hate peanut butter." Another tree fell almost crushing Natsume. "WILL YOU STOP DESTROYING THE FOREST SET??!!!"

"Okay, okay fine. I'll be quiet now, rabbit."

"At least she packed tuna..."

"Isn't it nice of her to pack us our dinner."

"Stupid hobo." He looked around nervously awaiting the collapse of another tree, but nothing happened. He sighed in relief.

After they were done eating they decided to get some shut eye.

"Hey, let's get some shut eye."

"Sure." And so they fell asleep.

_Meanwhile (yes, I cauldn't find the damn sinonym!) on some other part of the forest:_

"Awww come on, just leave them alone, Tono."

"Why the effin' hell are you stalking me?"

"I wouldn't be stalking you if you weren't chasing after Mikan and Niichan."

"Why are you so concerned?"

"Because Mikan is my friend." 'And because I need to get my revenge on you.'

"Oh wow. That's touching. maybe I'll withdraw."

"You will?" 'That was easy.'

"No."

"Tono you bastar. Come on, I already said I was in love with you (even though it's just an excuse and you didn't believe it) what else do you want me to say?!"

"I want you to go away."

"Idiot." But what they didn't know was that queen Hotaru was watching them, but she didn't hear what Aoi said fully. All she heard was: "I already said I was in love with you." And that can lead to a lot of misunderstandings.

"I feel generous today... Nogi!" The fairy/guy/servant/slave came rushing. She threw another bucket of the potion to him.

"There's a guy with long black hair wandering in the woods. I want you to drop the potion in his eyes so he'll fall in love with the girl with raven hair. Kapish?"

"Yes ma'am." And so he went looking for the black haired guy.

**1st attempt:**

"Ha-ai! Here I go! WHOA!" He tripped on a rock and spilled the contents of the bucket.

"Nogi, please tell me you didn't lose the potion after a mere meter with it."

**2nd attempt:**

"Hmm... guy with long hair... long black hair... Shouldn't be too hard to find in the forest..." He walked around when he saw something that caught his attention. "Oh my gosh, is that FIRE!?" He dashed to the scene of crime where a raven haired guy was calmly playing with his lighter.

"Crap, I can't fall asleep. And to make things even more retarded hobo gave me a freaking _lighter_. Seriously what in the world is wrong with a decent pair of jeans?" He said pressing and unpressing the button. No, he wasn't a smoker. Fire just fascinated him. There he was, minding his own business when out of nowhere someone threw a bucket of what _looked like_ water on him. He fell unconcious because the person didn't throw the water in the bucket. He threw the whole bucket.

"Phew, that was close. Don't ever use fire in a forest and- Natsume??!!!" The blond was looking at none other than his childhood friend, Natsume. "Oh crap, I just threw a whole bucket of _love_ potion on my best friend. If Imai-sama doesn't kill me Natsume surely will..."

So the blond boy fled to the queen's lair to await for further instructions... and beg for mercy.

"You pathetic idiot. Do you have any idea how much potions cost these days?!"

"I have an idea, Imai-sama..."

"Well sadly (for your friend anyways) if I undo his spell I'd have to undo Hayate's too. And we don't want that do we?" She smiled creepily.

"N- no ma'am."

**3rd attempt: **

"Ah. Finally I found you!" He said quietly as he approached an unaware and sleeping Tono. "Hmm... I guess the only person with long black hair here is this guy. So. Who am i supposed to pair him up with." He looked around and saw Aoi. He blushed slightly. "Such a waste... this pretty girl with this idiot over here." He sighed and dropped the liquid on his eyes.

_In the middle of the night:_

"Gnn. I feel like a glass of water..." Aoi woke up in the middle of the night and mindlessly wandered around the forest looking for drinkable water. She tripped over something.

"Hn. What's going on. I thought I saw Ruka and-"

"Niichan? So? How is it going with Mikan? Oi, why're you staring at me like that?"

"Aoi. I think I love you."

"Aww that's so sweet. You're the best brother ever. Now let go of my hand so I can get some water. Oh, is that Mikan next to you?"

"Don't wake her up. Now we're all alone."

"Yeah, good for you. Now lemme go. I'm thirsty."

"B- but I love you!"

"Seriously, is this one of your sleeptalking rambles, 'cause it's time to quit it. It's getting annoying."

"You don't believe me, Aoi-chan?"

"Okaaaay, now this has seriously surpassed the limits of freaky. You never called me Aoi-chan."

"Aoi-chan, don't leave."

"Uh... I really gotta go. Say hi to Mikan for me will ya." So Aoi ran away from the freakish situation only to be encountered with Tono.

"Aoi. I love you."

"What is it with the people here in the forest tonight?"

"Aoi! What are you doing with scum like him?"

"Seriously, I'm not in the mood for this, Natsume..."

"Aoi-chan? Natsume? TONO?!! What are you all doing here?"

"The hag has awakened."

"Natsume, that's mean."

"Oi, polka dots. I'm breaking up with you."

"You're what?!"

"My one true love is Aoi now."

"Aoi! How could you?"

"I didn't do anything, Mikan!" Natsume grabbed Aoi by the arm.

"Get away from her you incest!" Tono shouted.

"What's incest?"

"You really don't need to know, Mikan. Let go of me, Natsume! You too, Tono."

"Stop pulling her you'll rip her apart!"

At the same time someone was watching (and laughing madly) carefully.

"Imai-sama, I think this is too much..."

"Crap you're right. And just when things were getting fun too. I guess I have no choice but to free them from the spell... Okay, now what were the words again? Ah, "Mew mew style, mew

mew grace, mew, mew power in your face."."

Awkward silence...

"You're kidding me, right?"

"I don't joke around with magic, money or food."

"Oookay then... I feel that there's a lot that I don't know about magic..."

"And I feel that you're annoying. Well... I should probably go get Hayate now."

_In Hayate's Palace:_

"Cool Bl- I mean... Hotaru... I know you have something to do with this, so I'll ask now. Why was I hugging a donkey headed girl a few minutes ago?"

"Oh this is rich. I never thought you'd fall in love with a donkey. I'm glad I installed cameras in your house."

"You WHAT?!"

"Oh, stop weeping, will ya? The real point is that you were hugging another girl. A girl that's not me."

"Oh crap."

"Nogi, please go stand outside while I deal with Hayate here."

"Y- yes ma'am." Before the blond went he mouthed a good luck to the poor soul. He decided to go see what happened to the couple(s?).

"Ne, Natsume. You sure you don't remember anything at all?"

"No. Now stop bothering me polka-dots."

"Perv, and you were acting like such an incest too."

"I was what?"

"Nothing... but it seems that we can go back home now."

"You were the one who wanted to run away in the first place."

"How should I know we were gonna run out of sandwiches?"

"You should've."

"Should not!"

"Should too!"

"Should not!"

"Well I think that one is okay..." The blond muttered to himself. "Now to the other one."

"You mean you seriously are gonna give up?!"

"Yeah yeah, too much trouble. And besides, there's a lot of fish in the sea."

"I always hated that expression. Does that mean you're comparing girls to fish?"

"Yeah pretty much, OW!"

"Serves you right."

"But anyway, there's that blue haired girl from town..."

"Tono... sorry to break it to you, but... she's married."

"Married?! To who?"

"How should I know? I think it was some artisan. Kanade, Kanale...?"

"Kaname."

"Yeah, that!"

"Then what about the Duke's fianceé?"

"I won't even bother telling you what's wrong with that."

"You?"

"Pfffft... HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Okay, okay, stop being such a pedo and go back to town."

"Yeah, yeah, you'll end up falling for me sooner or later."

"You wish! Go back to Athens will ya, there's something I need to do."

"In the middle of a forest?"

"Yes, in the middle of a forest, now scram."

"Oh fine, fine. I got you." The raven haired girl waited for the black haired man leave.

"You can come out now, Ruu-chan." The blond boy flinched.

"How did you...?"

"Oh for Aphrodite's sake, yo never were good at hiding." She pointed to a small herd of animals who had gathered around Ruka in the meantime.

"Uhh... it could've been anyone..."

"There's only one person who can summon up this many animals just by standing still, and that's my brother's best friend. Which is now wearing... leotards... Why?"

"I got a job."

"As what? Ballet dancer?"

"I'm working for Imai."

"Ooooh, you know what? You should come visit us someday... but you should change first..."

"Natsume, yeah I get it."

"You know what? He's marrying Mikan!"

"Really? I guess giving up on her was the best thing I did."

"Aww, don't feel bad! Why don't you come to the wedding?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice. All I need now is to ask miss blackmail for a day off."

"I'm sure that won't be a problem considering who the bride is..." The raven haired girl smirked leaving the blond confused.

_Wedding Day!:_

"Kyaa, Aoi I'm so nervous!"

"You'll do fine."

"B- but it's the first time I do this!"

"And hopefully it's also the last."

"Do you think she's coming?"

"You sent her an invitation, didn't you?"

"Yup, I even said there'd be crab brains!"

"Then she'll come for sure! I hope he comes too..."

"He? Aoi is there something you're not telling me?"

"Oh it's nothing... I just happened to invite someone we know."

"Who?"

"R- ruu-chan." The raven blushed a deep shade of red.

"He's coming?! Natsume will be so happy, well at least he'll frown less and go from emo to sad. Which is something you don't see ever day."

"Knock knock!" A person shouted from the other side of the door.

"Who's there?" The brunette asked innocently.

"Me, you idiot!"

"Me who?"

"Me as in I will crash down this door if you don't open in five seconds." Aoi rushed to open the door. After all, if it was who she was thinking it was the threat would become a fact.

"HOTARUUUUU!!!!" Mikan ran to hug her friend but she dodged it immediatly.

"Don't get the dress dirty, moron."

"I'm so glad you came!"

"Wait, you're friends?" The groom and the blond who had just arrived asked in shock.

"Yeah, we're best friends since elementary and- KYAA!!! Natsume, you're not supposed to be here!!"

And so the wedding went spiffily with all it had the right to have, Narumi crying like a lady, Tsubasa wolf whisteling when the priest said: You may now kiss the bride... even though it was a double wedding and he was also getting married, Misaki punching him instead of kissing him because of that and Aoi catching Misaki's bouquet while strangely enough Ruka caught Mikan's. Coincidence? Not for this RukaXAoi fan. And to top it off the final play being organized by the artisans.

"Do I seriously have to act like a man in front of Lords Natsume and Ruka?" Sumire weeped.

"I don't know what you see in him."

"Shut up Koko!"

_Play ends:_

"That... was... horrible, who picked this?"

"Hotaru you don't have to be mean!"

"Admit it polka, it was crap."

"Okay, fine it wasn't the best play in the world."

"Oh Zeus, I think I'm going to hurl!"

"Aoi!"

And so the wedding ends with people calling the 911-

"911! And so I ask again, why can't I wear jeans!?"

Ignoring that, the wedding went... well... not so smoothly as it was supposed to. And they all lived happily ever after.

_Fin_

"Whoa, whoa, wait! Aren't I supposed to have a monologue at the end of the play?"

Sorry Ruka, we're out of time.

"Damn!"

_Now it's Fin!_

* * *

**Sorry Ruka, but we'll have to leave your monologue to Hamlet.**

**Ruka: I'm going to be in Hamlet?**

**Me: Not only that, but you're going to BE Hamlet!**

**Ruka: My chance!**

**Me: Yay! Thank you for your work, you are now dismissed.**

**Cheese: Review or else.**

**Natsume: *who was just returning because he forgot his water bottle* GAAAHHH, IT'S YOU AGAIN!!!! *runs away screaming***

**Cheese: That was wierd, that kid seriously needs some attitude adjustments. Well anyway, my creator (Mari/ The Manga Witch/ Mariana) says that you can choose a Shakespeare story that you like for chapter 3 (because chapter 2 has already been chosen)**

**Don't miss on Chapter 2: Ham and Omelets**


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